


Like Summer Flowers, We Live

by amelioratedays



Series: Dream Knight AUs [2]
Category: Dream Knight, GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Drama Verse, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 01:52:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3510764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amelioratedays/pseuds/amelioratedays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Semi-AU based off Dream Knight where Jr. finds himself in unrequited love with JB.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Summer Flowers, We Live

**Author's Note:**

> What even is this abstract writing style.

使生如夏花之絢爛，死如秋葉之靜美.

(live with the radiant beauty of summer flowers,

die with the static beauty of autumn leaves.)

 

 

 

The first time around, Junior doesn’t actually notice JB. He doesn’t notice much in general, except that one minute he’s stepping off from the van—greeted by the flashes of cameras and cheers of many—and the next minute he’s knocked to the ground, wounded (badly) by someone’s elbow.

 

No, the first time around, Junior doesn’t notice JB at all.

If anything, he notices Joo In Hyung.

 

 

 

The second time around, Junior can’t help but notice JB—being that the other was opposing him to his face. It’s startling and also a scratch to his ego, but Junior can’t help but feel somewhere between agitated and amused. Agitated because who is JB to critique Junior on a dance he choreographed himself. Amused because JB’s critiquing him in front people that Junior knows will take his side. Junior scoffs, he’s winning a fixed battle—

 

—or not.

 

 

 

It’s in the middle of the makeshift dance battle that Junior realizes he’s on the losing side of the bet—where all his moves seem too constrained, too fixed and Junior finds himself lost in how spontaneous JB was. It irks Junior, makes him overly conscious of all he has worked for to get where he was now; reminding how all the freedom he sought for simply brought him to a new set of shackles.

 

The second time around, Junior remembers JB and the unrestrained glint in his gaze. He also remembers the tightening of his jaw as he sets his hand on Joo In Hyung’s shoulder. It’s hard to ignore JB’s existence—especially when Junior feels that it overwhelms him, taking over every atom in the room in a silent but potent way. The cold aura that he emits burns in an odd way and Junior revels in his thrill as he pulls Joo In Hyung out of the classroom—ice searing his skin.

 

 

 

He learns later that the ice is actually real.

He also learns that JB is not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“ _I want to be human. I want to be loved too.”_

 

The thought lingers in his head that night as he remembers hidden memories—unlocks pandora’s box within his heart as he thinks about Joo In Hyung and Jisoo; thinks about JB and Junior. He wonders if JB is also a knight, and if his world revolves around Joo In Hyung. He remembers the days when he still lived as if Jisoo was his light. Before she burned out like a dying lightbulb—breaking into shards as she fell onto the cement grounds underneath. He hadn’t been able to catch her, the flutter of her sleeve slipping past his fingertips.

 

He wonders if JB would understand—why he held back the first time. He would, Junior reckons. They’re the same after all. We’re both knights, in love with our owners—owners who don’t love us back.

 

Unrequited love, Junior thinks as he shifts in his blankets.

It’s not worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“What are you doing?” JB interrogates as Junior picks up the drenched doll. Junior ignores his question, smiling as he turns around. “Looks like your friend got wet,” he muses, shaking the doll in his hand. He walks away from the camping car, knowing that JB would follow him in toll. He swings the doll in his hand, precariously as if he would toss it onto the grounds nearby. But he catches it in time and pockets it instead. JB is still behind him, familiar ice prickling at his neck.

 

He stops when they’re a good distance away from Joo In Hyung, turning around to look JB in his eyes. They’re an endless kohl and Junior wills himself to not get lost into the other’s depthless soul. “You’re a knight,” he muses with a smile. He catches the way JB swallows down his anger, jaw clenching as he spits out an, “Who are you?”

 

“Someone who used to be just like you.”

 

“Stop talking in circles.”

 

 

 

_“We are born within tears of despair,  
but we disappear within tears of happiness.”_

Junior watches the emotions clouding JB’s eyes as he speaks. “You guys will disappear.” Junior continues, “But, of course, there’s a way not to. That’s if you guys betray her first; then, you guys can become human.” He hears Mark and Jackson speak beside him, but Junior keeps his eyes on JB—observing the subtle changes in his emotions. It’s a while before someone speaks again, it’s JB this time— _finally_.

 

“Then what happens to Joo In Hyung?” Junior frowns, he doesn’t understand why JB is only capable of thinking for Joo In Hyung and not for himself.

 

“What happens is...you’ll never see her again.”

 

He places the damp doll into JB’s hand, lifting his gaze to see the tears welling in the other’s eyes. It’s the first time Junior has seen any emotion on JB’s face besides anger and he isn’t sure if the stir in his heart means he’s happy or not.

 

 

 

JB finds him a few days later, grabs him by his shirt collar with trembling hands—Junior can’t tell if it’s from anger or desperation. “What do you mean we won’t be able to see Joo In Hyung again?!” He shouts. Junior tenses, as he finds himself being pulled closer to the other male, “It means either you guys die, or Joo In Hyung dies.” He watches the oncoming dread take over JB’s expression and he continues, “Pick one of the two.”

 

He awaits retaliation, whether it was another shout of slanders or even a punch to his face—but it doesn’t come. Instead, JB’s grip on his collar loosens, arms dropping to his sides as he backs away. Junior can see tears again and he knows this time the clenching in his heart isn’t in a positive way.

 

Junior’s watching JB walk away with disheartened shoulders and he doesn’t tell the other that “Pick one of the two” really means “Pick _me._ ” If he leaves Joo In Hyung, then he can exist without worrying when he will disappear. If JB leaves Joo In Hyung, then Jr. won’t have to spend endless nights thinking about what afterlife JB will walk into once Joo In Hyung decides she’s happy enough to be without her knights.

 

“You’re no different.” He spits out. “You’ll make the same decision I did.”

 

And if not, Junior decides, then he will make it so that there’s no alternative.

 

“My decision wasn’t wrong.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s ill fate that Junior finds that, human or not, he’s always plagued with unrequited love. Jisoo never reciprocated his love and he lost her to the hands of Hades.  And even if JB doesn’t return his feelings this time, Junior decides that he isn’t going to lose him forever. “You won’t disappear.” He whispers to the night air.

 

 “I won’t let you.”

 

 

 

JB is much more amiable the next time they meet; _initially_ , that is. “I forgot to tell you one more thing.” Junior says, the laughter in his voice apparent. “I’ve made up my mind already,” JB cuts him off and Junior decides that he dislikes the way JB lives for Joo In Hyung. As if sacrificing for others was his natural forte. Junior shifts his gaze towards the other knights, “What about them? Have _they_ decided?”

 

There’s anger boiling in JB’s soul but Junior doesn’t care—not if it means that he won’t stay by Joo In Hyung’s side. He continues to relay his message; “As long as _one_ of you decide to leave, Joo In Hyung will die.” Even if JB stays until the end, there’s no use.

 

He watches them break apart friendships, turning around when the red patches on JB’s face are too much for him to handle. Yugyeom and Bam Bam silent by his side. It’s only momentary pain, he thinks. It’s a Machiavellian world and everything is okay when Joo In Hyung isn’t there and JB is there to stay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“I’m more scared of a world where Joo In Hyung doesn’t exist._

_If we’re exchanging our lives for another’s,_

_it’s better if we disappear like sea foam.”_

Junior doesn’t expect to see JB on his knees—JB who holds himself together with pride and retaliates against the world with resilient forces. It breaks a piece of Junior’s sanity and it’s that reason that he finds himself falling onto JB two in the morning. “I hate you,” he slurs drunkenly as he steps above their mattress with his soiled shoes. He thinks Jackson is yelling something about him stepping on him but Junior doesn’t care, doesn’t _want_ to care. He searches for JB, fingers gripping on the other’s shoulders as he tries to pull his hazy vision together. “JB,” he cries hoarsely when he finally finds the other.

 

He feels someone uplift him, strong arms holding him intact as he loosens his muscles. “Why the fuck did you drink this much,” JB mutters as he manoeuvres them off the mattress. He brings them to the same riverside they were at last time, away from Joo In Hyung and prying ears. Junior’s been muttering an incessant mantra of “JB” the whole time and JB doesn’t understand why. “What’s up with you?” He finally asks when they settle to a standstill.

 

Junior doesn’t answer his question; instead, pushing him off the other to point at JB. “What’s _so_ wonderful about Joo In Hyung?!” He interrogates, slurring over syllables. “Is it because she’s so helpless and _alone_ that you want to care for her?” JB doesn’t exactly understand where this conversation is going, but Junior is more angry than ever. His eyes are bloodshot, reeking of alcohol, as he shouts with loud gestures. He walks towards the raven haired male with unsteady steps, tears stained cheeks reflecting the moonlight. “Then what about _me?_ I’m alone and helpless. Why don’t you love _me?_ ” His voice breaks off in uneven stanzas, breath failing him as his heart beats in erratic rhythms.

 

“I like you, JB.” He cries, grabbing at the fabric of JB’s shirt.

“You can’t leave me. You _all_ leave me.”

 

His eyes sting and Junior sees through blurred tears to catch JB’s gaze—a look of pity. “You don’t have to love me. You just have to stay.” Junior whispers, leaning into the other’s lips. He barely grazes JB’s jaw line as the other turns his face to the side. “I’m sorry.” JB mutters, pushing away. Junior falls back onto the dirt road, feeling as empty and broken as the shards that cut into his wrists every now and then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“Then go out with me, Joo In Hyung.”_

 

Junior doesn’t care for morals—not when he was born off another person’s death. And he stares into JB’s eyes as he holds onto In Hyung’s hand. “What are we going to do? In Hyung and I are going on a date though.” He smiles, noticing the way JB avoids his gaze.

 

 

 

JB stops him in the practice room later that week, unplugs his speakers mid-song so that the entire room falls into a deafening silence. “You’re dating In Hyung.” He states. “I am. She likes me, after all.” Junior replies, pulling the sweat stained towel off his neck. “You don’t like her.” JB says, voice harsh.

 

“Of course not.”

 

“You—”

 

“—I like you. But you’re not dating me, are you?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“Why do you like me?”_

_“I like how you’re always working your hardest to live without regrets.”_

_“He’s someone who means a lot to me. I must be a fool.” Joo In Hyung says from the top of the stairs, tears falling as she chokes out her words.“I’m too late, aren’t I?”She asks._

_“It’s okay now that you’re here.”_

_“Didn’t you say you liked me? Then can’t you continue doing so?” Junior pleads._

_“The person I like...is JB.”_

JB is not Junior, and he is not plagued by unrequited love.

Junior doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry at how he is always the only one left in the end.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He tells Joo In Hyung in the end, the night of the competition; he also tells JB. “Thank you.” JB says to him, and Junior tries to forget the clenching within his chest cavity. The other knights file out of the room and Junior grips onto JB’s wrist. “Are you happy?” He asks quietly, stuttering over his question?

 

“I am.” JB replies.

 

“Then I am too.” Junior decides as he lets go of the other’s arm.

 

When he reaches Joo In Hyung crying on the stairwell that night, he crouches down to look her in the eye. He hands her the fixed camcorder, hoping she won’t notice the trembling of his limbs. “JB left this for you.” He manages to make out,  the lump in his throat suffocating him. “I’m sorry,” he tells her.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“Do you think they’d be happy if they lived without you?”_

_“So why did you tell me they were knights?! Why?!” She shouts through her tears._

_“Because a sudden parting would be too painful...I know the pain of being left behind too.”_

“At least you got to say goodbye,” he tells In Hyung a few months later. He’d taken to stopping by once in awhile to see if she’s doing well—taking days off to accompany her to the hospital. There’s still no cure, but at least her condition isn’t worsening now. Junior thinks it might be because JB is looking after her from above. “You liked him too, didn’t you?” She asks him in return.

 

Junior doesn’t reply, simply turning around to smile at the setting sun. She gives him a comforting pat on the shoulder before she makes her way back to the camping car. He doesn’t escort her, staying at the fencing to watch the stagnant waters reflect the hues of the sunset. He also doesn’t tell her that he’s going to bring JB back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Junior successfully manages to recite the last part of the incantation—after failing _so_ many times—his breath lodges in between his trachea and the blood in his veins seem to freeze. The markings running up his inner arm sear with a flaming red but the pain is numbing—he’s felt worse these past months. The adrenaline pumping through his venules is enough to distract him from the burn as he watches—in seemingly slow motion—JB materialize in front of him.

 

“I’m here to play cupid,” he says with a smile.  
The markings on his arm flash a venomous purple.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“Aren’t you going to tell him?” Yugyeom asks, and Junior recognizes the shaking of his voice to be anger._

_“Why would I?”_

_“You gave up your entire lifespan for him, he has a right to know.” Yugyeom deadpans. Bam Bam doesn’t speak—eyes downcast._

_“I’m just doing my best to live without regrets.” Junior says, smiling ever so brightly. He’s living off Jisoo’s death after all; he thinks it’s about time he returns his borrowed life to the right owner._

When JB walks away with Joo In Hyung, hand in hand,  Junior watches from afar. It’s only when they disappear from his sight that he gives in to the pain—legs failing him as he crashes to the ground. The markings have spread to his chest now, poison invading his heart and lungs—he doesn’t actually know if he’s breathing. The air doesn’t go in and oxygen can’t reach his cells.

 

He wonders if this is the beauty of living—where he’s illuminate like a meteorite falling to his doom.  He burns out like a candlelight, flickering in the summer winds. He suddenly remembers the poem he read years ago, talking about life and death—summer flowers and autumn leaves. Life is over in a flash, but there should be no regrets within his mind when he’s wilted after being the most radiant (however lonely, however desolate) flower.  He’s only been human for eight years but Junior thinks he’s lived like summer flowers.

 

Now is the time that he rests like the autumn leaves.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is. Feel free to throw rotten vegetables at me b/c I am a trash student and my GPA is negative.


End file.
